If you are going to call a store in another state to order an item to have shipped to your house, please don’t be surprised by the shipping fee.
As in, yes, we have one. The fuck do you think this is, Amazon?
Yes, I’m sure the item total has to be over $50 to get free shipping. Really, I’m sure. No, really. It’s 10:21 pm and we close at 10:30. Let’s finish this off. What’s your information?
The item you want to order doesn’t accept coupons. But you know what? Even with shipping, this order is less than $20.
You want me to go fetch a random item to get your order above $50. Huh? How about I put it on hold for you and you can decide on an add-on tomorrow and call for the order then?
Oh, now you just want your original item. Fine. No, it doesn’t take coupons. No, you don’t get 20% off with your card. I’m sure you got free shipping with your last order, but no, it won’t work on this one. Sorry.
Oh, now you want to put it on hold.